A post on Post

It’s been many, many months since I last posted here. Sometimes parenthood just takes a lot of time. More time than I have, or want, or sometimes need. It is impossible at times to “get it all done”. Even typing 100 wpm won’t help that. So here and now, please accept my apologies for not being more vigilant on my blog. Just be patient, and know that eventually, I’ll get around to it. Speaking of patience and posts…..

There seems to be a dividing these days in the RAD parent circle about which method of parenting is more effective. Among the various on-line groups, individuals seem to be branching off in alarming rates into smaller groups who are either whole-heartedly for or against one method or another.

We have those who religiously adhere to the neuro work every day, creeping and crawling and patterning 5 times each day toward mecca. These parents are intelligent, innovative, dedicated. Then we have our “Nancy’s”, who are either named Nancy themselves or follow the advice of anyone named Nancy. This sect is cut throat. They know their children’s games and they intend to win them. They don’t take non-compliance for an answer and they fight for control of every breath their children take. Somewhere at the bottom of the list are the Posters, AKA: those without consequences. These parents are willing to take a risk, go against the grain, challenge the mainstream. They have learned that their children’s feelings are more important than their children’s behaviors, and that in fact, focusing on the negative behaviors seemingly lends itself to more. These parents have searched outside the box to find an answer and guess what. They found one.

Which way should you go?

Although I may not be a certified expert in attachment disorder, I would like to offer my two cents on this question in order to help redirect parents who are still struggling to find the balance in this type of parenting. Because although it may seem an impossible task to love the unlovable, or be sensitive to the cruel, or even give one more ounce of energy that you just never seem to have, please know that there is hope. There is a balance. There is a way to parent these children while maintaining your joy of life and sense of freedom. It is the Family Stress Model taught by the Post Institute — and it works!

Since I have last posted we have made huge strides in Tyler’s life. I would even say he is “normal”. The first thing I noticed was that he actually started laughing. That was weird. At first I didnt even know what that sound was. But now I know it by heart and I hear it everday. Yes, the sound of a happy child. And that child is mine.

Next there was the diminishing of violence in every form. Fewer tantrums, less arguing, more talking. Now there is the naming of emotions, the calm of a touch, the love in his eyes. All the things the “experts” said might never be.

I will write more about this later. I promise. But for now, just know that there is more to RAD than you’ve been told. And I should have posted long ago about Post.