BCI Support Group for Oregon?

That Darned old Pucker Brush again

Like I’ve said before, there is an old saying in the south about being confused.  It’s called “wandering around in the pucker brush.”  And to my understanding, the pucker brush is pretty nasty.  Prickly.  Painful.  Just bad to get lost in.

That is how it feels when you are trying to parent a child with a trauma history and can’t seem to find any help.  (Believe me.  I’ve been there!)

So to help you find your way out of the maze and into healing, you now have access to BCI-trained therapy right here in Oregon!

Check out this link:

Life Strategies in McMinnville, Oregon

And get yourself out of the pucker brush.  It’s never too late.

Peace in the home.

Peace in the community.

Peace in the world.

Portland Area Parenting Workshop

I am so excited to announce an upcoming event in the Portland area for all families! Amazing Parents is holding a Saturday workshop dedicated to introducing the principles found in the book Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control.

As you probably already know, I am a Beyond Consequences Certified Instructor, which means I have been through extensive training and have many resources at my disposal in order to help bring a paradigm of hope and love and peace into your home. I have been coaching parents for years on what it really means to meet your child at their emotional level, which is really what BCLC is all about.

The question I always get is, “Yes, I understand what the book says, but HOW do I do it in real life?!” So that is what this workshop will help you do. It will help you begin applying what you already know.

Information will cover the 4 main principles of BCLC: The Stress Model, primary emotions love and fear, repetitious conditioning, and neuro-physiological feedback loops. There will also be opportunity for role playing and small group work.

Our class size will be very small in order to give each student plenty of time for personal support, as well as time for specific questions and answers to situations in their own families.

DATE: Saturday, August 16th, 2008

TIME: 9:00 am – 4:00 pm

For more information or to register click here.

Hope to see you there!

A Site for Sore Eyes

Several years ago I started this blog, not really knowing where it would lead me. My first post was a declaration stating the need for a local support group for parents of children with attachment-challenges. And I meant it. We did need one.

At the time I wrote that post, I was vaguely aware of the need in my local area for more education on the effects of trauma and how prevalent trauma is within adopted and fostered children. I knew we needed more information and options regarding treatment plans for our children with RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder). And I knew we also needed to help educate the higher-ups: other parents, our children’s teachers, and all those therapists they kept referreing us to with no success. Today I am very clearly, hugely aware of just how much this is all still needed. And I have been working very hard to bring that to Oregon.

Well, here comes the reality of that hope: the official Amazing Parents website, which is officially being launched TODAY! Whoo hoo! I hope you all are standing on your computer chairs clapping and cheering in celebration of this huge accomplishment! Because it’s AMAZING!!

On our website, we will be offering educational classes and workshops here in our area based on the book Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control by Heather T. Forbes and Dr. Bryan Post. This is the book that has changed my life and helped heal my son — the same child they told me would never learn to love or be loved. We will also be bringing free support groups to parents who are really ready to try something new and see permanent positive changes in their families. With this support, we know you can make those changes. Follow that up with personal phone coaching by a Beyond Consequences Certified Instructor, and you have all the tools in your hands to move forward.

In addition, Amazing Parents is in partnership with Life Strategies, which is a counseling agency owned by Sandra Lucas, MAMFT. Sandra will be bringing the principles of BCLC into each and every one of her therapy sessions. So between the classes, the support groups, the coaching, and the therapy, Amazing Parents is Oregon’s total package for helping families heal!

If you haven’t already, please check out Amazing Parents today and sign up for one of our free local events. I just know your entire family will thank you, because you will finally be able to find your way out of the maze and into love and healing.

A Stone in the Ocean

Sometimes I look out at this big, scary world and I am almost frozen solid with sadness. Before my son came to me, I had no idea how much pain was in the universe. As naive as I was, I just didn’t know. But now I can see it. All of it. The overwhelming sea of humanity existing together in synchronized pain.

I see the starving babies whose bellies are swollen, in countries with rich, fat kings. I have seen how war rips arms and legs from parents who are then unable to provide for their children. And other children left with no parents at all. I can hear the incessant cries of babies born drug exposed to young mothers in the ghetto who just don’t know how to feel anything real inside of their bodies, least of all a baby.

It’s not me being dramatic. This stuff is real and is happening every minute around the globe right now. And it hurts me. It hurts me deeply. I can feel it pulling on me from somewhere, like a string that tugs on me from everywhere, the other end connected to that ocean — the overwhelming, turbulent, angry sea of suffering.

There are things I do to ease my discomfort, to quiet the never-ending thoughts. Somethings are proactive and others are just soothing. I do them because I have to. I just have to. One thing I have to do is reach out for support. It took me a long, long time to find a place to turn to. At first I tried my spouse, but his pain was so deep that he wasn’t able to help me. I tried my relatives, but they seemed too far removed. I talked to friends that I already had, but what I had to say was too much for them and they all slowly wandered away. So I searched harder. I looked further. And I found you.

This past weekend I went to the desert and I sat in the hot, dry sun. All around me I felt the incessant chatter of mothers whose babies are hurting and struggling to find out who they are in this world. I could close my eyes and almost feel the synchronized pain of these mothers trying to parent their children with attachment challenges. An almost unidentifiable pain. Something maybe without any words. Just a feeling inside my stomach, buried deep, deep down inside me of a memory that still makes me sick. Was it my mother or my husband or my boy? Maybe inside me they are all the same. Sometimes I honestly do not know.

What I do know is that what we all need here is some hope. Even just a little. I turned to my soft friend, with her voice from somewhere I think I’ve been before, and I told her that we just needed some hope. And almost in a panic, she whispered, “Yes, but that is like throwing a stone into the ocean”. And she is right. The level of pain that these mothers live with is extreme. But you know, even stones add up to mountains over time.

For me, in that desert, I found what I was looking for. I found what I needed. I needed some hope. I needed to be heard and to feel like my experience mattered to someone. And that’s how I was made to feel. Like I mattered. That my needs were real and absolutely accepted on every level.

So to all those woman, screaming and laughing in synchrony in that big, loud room, on a mat, on the floor: thank you. That is where a little nugget of hope came to me through unconditional love and support. So to all of you, thank you, for not only throwing a stone into my great big ocean, but for being the stone itself.

Press on! I am doing that now.

Beyond Consequences TeleParenting Support Classes

I am proud to announce that the Consciously Parenting Project is now offering two levels of classes designed to teach the principles found in the book Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control by Heather Forbes and Bryan Post.

The classes are “tele” classes, which means that the classroom is virtual and the courses are conducted over the phone on a conference line. Each student is free to speak at any time during the class, whether to make a comment, share a personal experience, or ask a question. The teachers Rebecca and Wilma are excellent listeners and speakers, and are very, very well-trained in this parenting model. After each class, students are directed to a private forum for continued discussion of the topics from that week’s class. In addition, each student also receives homework that they are to do in the privacy of their own homes.

I just finished taking the level 1 classes and I cannot tell you enough what a difference they have made to me. As someone who has been putting these principles to use for several years now, I really thought I knew it all. But I didn’t. These classes are so great because they teach the basic principles, which is what many are looking for. But for someone like me who already knows them, you can also take your understanding to a new level. Really as deep as you want. So whether you are just starting out with a child with a trauma history, or your family is well on the path to healing, you will benefit from these classes.

Considering the cost of attachment therapy, you cannot beat the cost of these classes. Therapy can be upwards of hundreds of dollars per hour, whereas these classes are $40 total. That is 6 hours of instruction by phone with a BCI-trained therapist and unlimited access to the forum with other parents who totally “get it”. At that price, you can’t afford NOT to take them! The best news is that a new round of classes starts in just a couple of weeks and sign ups are now being taken.

Soon we will be offering similar courses like these in the McMinnville area. But why wait? Why not check them out from my friends at the Consciously Parenting Project today? You won’t be sorry.

BCI Teleparenting Classes from the Consciously Parenting Project