Amazing Parents

Sometimes it\’s AMAZING. Sometimes it\’s just A MAZE.

A Perfect 10

It’s funny to me to see my son today. He is going to turn 10 any minute and that alone just cracks me up. I feel like that baby boy just came into my home. That it can’t really be such a long time since that moment. I guess I feel like I just met him, and in a way, I guess that’s true.

I remember the years of drama and crying and fighting and….just all of that. The never ending guilt of knowing I wasn’t doing something right. And also the confusion and frustration of just not knowing what that was. I couldn’t have changed it then if I had wanted to. It was all just so complicated. So overwhelming and sad.

There have been many large transitions in our life lately. Lots of things that even I am struggling to understand. Years ago this whole situation would have resulted in tantruming. Screaming, kicking, sweating, broken furniture, tantruming by Tyler. And I would have hated him for that. For sucking even more life out of me than was already being sucked by the situation. At a time when I needed all the energy and positive thoughts that I could muster up from deep within. And he would have felt that negativity and it would have caused yet more tantruming. It was a vicious cycle of resentment and broken hearts.

Sigh.

But none of that is happening now. Tyler is able to express himself and tell me where he is emotionally. He hugs me and tells me everything is going to be ok in the end. Yes, this same child is now comforting me! Yes, he is able to connect to me and to what I’m feeling right now. He can use his words and his body in very positive ways to build an even stronger relationship with me. And I love him for that. For that kind of connection. For what he can give to me. But also for showing me that kind of power in love. For being a living example to me of endurance and patience and faith.

I’ve been thinking of that a lot lately and I often have to remind myself that all those inches did indeed add up to miles over time. That those stones did pile up into a mountain.

And he’s so right. In the end, it IS all going to be ok.

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April 26, 2008 - Posted by | A New Paradigm

1 Comment »

  1. I’ve been thinking a lot about Tyler the past few days since we are both Tauruses and his birthday is this weekend. I can’t believe he will be 10. He is definitely maturing into a wonderful young man. I’m impressed every time I see him now. The change is so drastically positive. He has a bright future thanks to you.

    Comment by Jolie | May 6, 2008 | Reply


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